The Lessons of Nice vs Nasty
“Niceness is the psychological armor of the people-pleaser.” ~ Harriet B. Braiker
Charm is a seduction strategy that some of us learn to use in our everyday life. We do it consciously or not, learning the how to’s from psychology books or from others who’s main purpose in life is to get what they want 😈
This can be perceived as manipulative by some of our fellow humans. There’s something I learned from all the books that talk about #Zen #Buddhism and #Tao. If what you do comes from your heart and with no expectations from others (that’s a challenge), then there’s no manipulation. It’s just an attempt to make the world a better place by starting the change with ourselves. Because there is no higher feeling than the one that you have when you make others happy 💁
Niceness is not a weakness. Sometimes being nice gives you power and strength. And sometimes life kicks you below the belt, you’re pushed on the ropes and your killer instinct kicks in. Some feelings need to be surpressed but sometimes you need to throw your hat in the ring.
Question is: when to be nice and when to be nasty? #boxingslang
I have the hardest time managing and resisting is the pressure to please. Everyone. All the time. Putting others before myself and doing everything I can to appease people is starting to become my second nature. It’s not something that comes natural all the time though. Sometimes I can do it but sometimes I fail. Still, I wanna learn how to give, how to pay attention to others’ needs and share the best with them👭
The end result, however, can be different if you still have expectations from others (told ya 😉)
Here are some bad things that happen when you are too nice. How to roll with the punches and not become a nasty bitch, rules and antidotes, bellow.
1. If you are always giving, people will expect that of you.
Rising expectations is not that bad 😉
2. You will develop unrealistic expectations from others.
So learn to forget all the good that you are doing. The only reward is that you are feeling good about it.
3. People will come to you only when they need something.
Be happy about it 😆
4. You will forget about being kind to yourself.
Never forget to love yourself.
5. You will be seen as being weak.
Resist the temptation of being a bitch – this is for myself 😅
6. You will attract needy people.
Smile and be nice. We all need things to feel complete and happy. It’s just a mirror. Try to see yourself in it.
BE NICE, KNOW WHEN TO SAY ‘NO’.
Thank you Palatul Noblesse for hosting us